LOST OF CONTROL

SUFFER...LONELY...BORED THAT WHAT I FEEL EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I KNOW I HAVE TO FACE WHATEVER COME TO MY LIFE BUT REALLY HARD TO DO THAT ALONE MYSELF NO ONE I CAN SHARE WITH.

HOW DIFFICULT TO SPENT 10 MORE MOTH HERE..WORKING HARD IN DIFFERENT COUNTRY.. WITH NO FAMILY.. NONE.

WHEN EVERYTHING WILL BE OVER?

GOD... GIVE ME A SIGN PLEASE?

I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU GOD.....PLEASE CHANGE MY LIFE TO BETTER WAY.

LIVE IS LIVE

NO BODY KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US ON THE NEXT MINT..HOUR OR DAY..

BUT JUST ONE THING THAT I KNOW WHATEVER IS COME IN FRONT OF US JUST FACE IT..TRY TO DO THE BEST . DO NOT EVEN RUN FROM IT

LIKE ME NOW...I REALLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS THE HILL GOING ON IN MY LIFE...VERY CONFUSES AND DIFFICULT TO DECIDE WHAT THE BEST THING TO DO

EVERY BODY HAVE SUCH DIFFICULT LIVE BECAUSE OF CRISIS GLOBAL RIGHT NOW EX SPECIALLY MY FAMILY...OH MY GOD......
THERE MORE WORST THAN BEFORE...POOR AND SUFFER.

ANY WAY... I DO FEEL TIRED RIGHT NOW....I WILL GO TO BAD . WISH TOMORROW WHEN I WAKE UP EVERYTHING IS CLEAR......FRESH ...MMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAA....

WHO I AM

can you tell me who i am..????

don't you know about me....????

do you think i am a bad or good person?

how come my friend just play with me?

i tried to be very friendly to them why they just so rude and mean to me

in front of me they very kind and nice person

but at the back they kick me off

i really don't know what's wrong with me.

should i care it???

or just iqnore them?

no one can be perfect even me.

why they judge person buy their beauty on the outside.

why they dont try to see them by their heart.

sometime i justt feel so tired with all this happen

just like a game but never the end.

whoever i am...still god in my heart.

yes , i believe .. god always in my heart to help me,

to give me a better life and happiness

ok well,..whatever they said about me i'll not care it

say and do whatever you want about me. i'll nut hurt you back

TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM

PLEASE FORGIVE ME......

I CLOSE MY EYES.....THINKING ABOUT MY DREAM...MY HOPE... AND MY BETTER LIFE.
NO BODY CAN BE PERFECT EVEN ME. BUT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I CAN'T BRING BACK MY TRUST THAT I LOOSE FROM MY FAMILY AND FRIEND.
I WANT TO SAY THEM THAT I CAN IMPROVE MY LIVE .
I'LL NEVER CRY,THINKING,STRESSFUL,DISAPPOINT OR....ETC ABOUT WHAT I HAVE DONE BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
I'LL LOOK FOR WORD...THINKING ABOUT FUTURE.. AND FORGET THE PAST.
I'M NOT A ANGEL WHO ALWAYS DOING THE RIGHT THING ( BUKAN MALAIKAT YANG SELALU BENAR) AND I'M NOT EVIL WHO ALWAYS DOING A BAD,WORST,DIRTY AND NASTY ( BUKAN SEORANG SETAN YANG SELALU BERBUAT SALAH DAN JAHAT).
I'M A HUMAN BEING...SOMETIME MAKE MISTAKE.
I REALLY SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU MAMA...I REALLY SORRY TO HURT YOUR FEELING EVERYBODY WHO LOVE AND CARE SO MUCH ABOUT ME.
BUT MY LIFE MUST GO ON....I'LL START AGAIN FROM THE BEGINNING AS I BORN AGAIN NOW.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND GIVE ME CHANGE TO SHOW YOU THAT WHO THE REAL OF ME.
THANK YOU MAMA.. THANKS MY FAMILY...AND THANKS MY FRIEND

MY WONDERFUL DEAMS......

Today I really feel so sad......, yea ch really...really sad. I can even take a breath.I ran to my room...crying and screaming as loud as i can.
Nobody knows how suffer i am... how poor my life... how difficult my situation.
Do you know why people didn't notice it....????

that just because as they know, i am very strong and independent women who always smile,make a silly joke and take an easy about everything, no matter there was big or small problem. But who knows when i am alone..sitting in my room and st rat cry and in very very deep on the bottom of my heart there was some questions..when my suffer of life will be the end.... when the real happiness will be mine. (sorry my English bad but i want to practice it more that why i write it in English...ceritanya pingin nguji nyali... SOK PD GITU LHO... kan hitung2 latihan gratis..maklumlah biasa makan singkong jadi lidah kaku fikiran ketul deh..... tapi setidaknya ngerti kan maksud ku..??????

but the way..... i believe in god, he never sleep and he knows what the best things for his people in earth. i just pray..pray... and as for the help that someday my dream will be come true.

everybody has a dream...even me too. I have a huge dream that someday i can spent my hole life just being a teacher for poor people who can't send their children to go to school for education,just because they don't have enough money for that.

but i really want to start ting it as soon as possible . my opinion is beginning on July 2010 and start ting about 5 or 10 kids, age between 3 and 6 years old. just like kindergarten.

I'll do all my best.....teach them all the good things.....let's them know more knowledge when they still young as much as i know.....to help them growing to be independent person who always have big responsibility,respectful,honest, polite and trust.

i wish god will bless me and make all this will be happen..Amin

HI.......ME AGAIN

I FEEL VERY HAPPY TODAY...CAUSE MY FRIEND COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND TEACH ME HOW TO COOK. SO IT WAS FUN.....

we cook so many kind of food and all of them was specy or super duper hot. i aet everything on the table, uhhhhhhhhhhhh.. so yummy...

but one was missing...crackers... yeahhhh... we don't have any kriuk..kriuk...kriuk.

you can't imagination how amazing it....

any way even no kriuk kriuk still ok....

but doesn't OK off my friend

Me : do you thing that's food OK?

Cindy: not really but OK if we have a kriuk kriuk

me : oh.. that you want... do you want i go run to the parknshop to get it?

Cindy :no.... why... just eat a krikil.... pro tend than is kriuk...kriuk haaa....

me :dasar anak gembling........

when all over we just sitting and listen to the music.

that is my day with god blessing.

SORRY....!!!!!!!

Just forgot to apologize...about my language,my spelling and my grammar.
I'm sure it was bad and doestt make any sent.
just to let's you know than i never learning English but i trust myself that i can do and improve to get better if i try to speak out and write what and my mind.
so please forgive me......and please accept it
but the way...thank so much.

sampai lupa mau minta maaf dan mohon maklum denganbahasa inggrisku yang gak sempurna dan gak karuan. maklun dari kecil gak pernah belajang ngomonh bahasa orang belanda...katanya orang jawa (LA WONG PANGANANE POHONG KAKEAN POLAH KATEK JALUK ROTI PANGANANE WONG JEPNG)

YA NAANYA JUGA USAHA, AKU KAN JUGA PINGIN PINTER DAN AKU YAKIN SATU SATUNYA JALAN HANYA DENGAN CARA NYOBA NGUCAPIN DAN NGLUARIN APAPUN YANG ADA DI FIKIRANKU.

jangan bosen ya........hiiiiiiiiiii hiiiiiiiiiii

ENAUGH

Right now the time is 3:20 am......oh my GOD, I really feel so tired. just because try to find out and learn myself about the blog.

everything was confuce and hard to lean.

specialy when i did everything done that i signt out than i tried to sign in again it doesn't work.

that realy make me so mad and just annoying me.

and do you know what i do when i got that feeling,

i just to talk to myself......(take a deep breath 3 times ,close the laptop and take a rest) tomorrow when you feel fresh than start a gain ti do that.

so good night....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

SALAM KENAL

HALLO.........,

LIVE IS HARD SO JUST TAKE IT EASY AND TRUST YOURSELF. DO YOUR BEST FOR YOURSELF AND THAN HELPING OTHER PEOPLE. ALWAYS SMILE EVEN YOU ARE IN VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION. DON'T LET'S PEOPLE TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE UNHAPPY. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN I'LL TRY TO LIVE WITH HEALTHY HEART...HEALTHY MIND AND HEALTHY BODY.